Marriage counseling aims to give couples the tools they need to understand each other and resolve conflicts. While couples often turn to relationship counseling during turmoil, it’s beneficial at any relationship stage. Marriage counselors can help couples with issues such as:
· Resolving financial disputes
· Learning how to communicate in a relationship
· Improving conflict resolution
· Identifying and addressing issues affecting the relationship
· Working on trust issues in a relationship
· Recapturing the spark or building intimacy
· Overcoming infidelity in a relationship
· Addressing disagreements about parenting styles
· Saving a marriage to avoid divorce
· Finding a healthy way to end a relationship
Types of Marriage Counseling
Like individual counseling, marriage therapy uses a variety of approaches and techniques. Learning more about the different types of couples therapy will help you find the right counselor.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Developed by married psychologists John and Julie Gottman, the Gottman method focuses on harmful behaviors that damage relationships and cause marital problems. These behaviors can include defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, or contempt.
What type of therapy is best for married couples?
The best type of therapy can vary based on your personal preferences and goals. So, in addition to finding the correct type of counseling, you must find a therapist who’s a good fit for both partners’ needs.
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Marital counseling research is promising. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has published studies which note that:
· More than 98% of couples who try marriage counseling report that therapy sessions are either “excellent” or “good”
· Of couples who try marriage counseling, 90% say emotional health has improved
· Two-thirds say they’ve seen improvements in their physical health after seeking counseling
Many couples find marriage therapy effective, but counseling can be effective whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 20 years. Studies show that communication issues, such as poor conflict management or a lack of positive communication, frequently lead to relationship problems. Counseling can help resolve these issues before significant disputes happen. Research also shows that counseling can help couples with serious issues — one study compared couples who sought therapy after infidelity to relationships that didn’t. Unsurprisingly, the couples seeking professional help reported a higher increase in relationship satisfaction. Marriage counseling can be very effective when couples are committed to the process.
Who Should Seek Marriage Counseling?
Even though it’s called “marriage counseling,” as we’ve established, counseling isn’t just for people who’ve already tied the knot. There aren’t major differences in the techniques used with couples therapy versus marriage counseling. Anyone can seek therapy, regardless of the status of their relationship. People who can benefit from marriage counseling include: · Straight couples · LGBT couples · Engaged couples · Couples that are dating · Couples in long-distance relationships · Couples in open relationships · Couples who’ve separated Again, there are no restrictions as to why you might consider marriage counseling. Any issue you can’t solve on your own might benefit from therapy. A licensed, objective, unbiased perspective often helps, usually in just a few sessions. Keep in mind you can seek therapy for specific issues a relationship is facing. For example, LGBTQ therapy can benefit couples facing problems in their relationship that are unique to the LGBTQIA+ community. Other issues couples may seek counseling for include those who feel like: · They just repeat the same disagreement or fight and can’t find a solution · They disagree about finances, parenting, or lifestyle choices · Household chores and responsibilities aren’t equal, and they want to figure out how to communicate better · They’ve lost romantic or sexual chemistry · Their relationship is “on autopilot” · They’re unheard or unseen in the relationship, or their partner is emotionally unavailable · They’ve experienced trauma or loss and are having trouble processing it · Dealing with mental health struggles, infidelity, or substance abuse is affecting their relationship While most partners can benefit from therapy, couples counseling may not be recommended for those in an abusive relationship. If you or someone you love is struggling with any form of abuse, seek individual therapy and help immediately.
What Happens During Marriage Counseling?
Most marriage counselors encourage both partners to be present at counseling sessions. This is the most effective process because a therapist needs to see how you interact and communicate so they can offer the best tools to improve.
However, if your partner feels reluctant or cannot attend an appointment, you can attend marriage counseling alone. There can still be benefits for you: you can learn about yourself and how you feel about your relationship.
During Your First Session
Marriage counselors typically ask lots of questions during the first few therapy sessions. This allows them to learn more about each of you as an individual. It also helps them understand how you function as a married couple.
In addition to asking questions about your relationship, your couples therapist may ask about your childhood, family, or other aspects of your personal life. It can be difficult to share these things with a stranger, but opening up is an integral part of the process.
